Literary Circles

Today we are discussing Wednesday’s Literary Circle reading. Everyone is expected to participate in the discussion and anyone who did not have a role for today’s discussion must fill out and submit the debriefing form in Canvas by the end of their class period.

Writing Workshop

Along with our discussion on prewriting prior to yesterday’s Writing Workshop, we talked briefly about where we are going with all three of your current writing assignment. Remember, writing is a process, not a “how fast can I get it done” kind of thing. Here is an example of the next step in your Write the World – This I Believe prompt. The form is available in your resource area in Canvas. You will need to turn the completed assignment into the assignment area on Canvas by October 1st.

Write the World Revision Comparison

Name:___Mrs. Scales__________Class Period______ALL_____

• First

This I Believe – Joy

By Mrs. Scales (United States)

I believe that joy is the greatest success one can achieve in life. Joy is happiness and a beloved feeling of satisfaction. Joy is something very personal and is not only different for different people, it is different for the same person at different times in their lives.  I can remember a time when pure joy for me came from the back of a horse. Nothing brought me more joy than setting atop my bareback horse with my bare legs hanging down her sides and my back laying flat against her back.  My head rolled softly on her romp and I contemplated the blue sky above. I can also remember the joy that just sitting around my Granny’s old kitchen table drinking coffee with my mom and an aunt or two.  I believe that joy, like memories stay with us and revisit us when most needed.  I believe that my greatest joys have come from days spent with the ones I love most, my Granny, my sister, my husband, my daughter, my grandchildren, and friends and students I interact with along the way.
I believe that joy can be found in the most common of experiences and by people of all ages and levels of economic or social status. Real success can’t be measured in the level of importance of one’s job, or the amount of their bank account. I believe that real success is measured by how much joy each person accumulates during their life.  For some pure joy does come from doing a job that is rewarding and contributes to the world. I believe that the joy of experiencing the achievement and growth of my students does give me great joy. Finding the joy in whatever one is doing is a true mark of success, this I believe.

• Revised

I believe that joy is the greatest success one can achieve in life. Joy is happiness and a beloved feeling of satisfaction that comes upon human beings sometimes at the oddest times. I believe that joy can be found in the most common of experiences. Like when I was young and my best friend was my horse. I can remember a time when nothing brought me more joy than setting atop her bareback with my bare legs hanging down her sides and my back laying flat against her back.  My head rolled softly on her romp and I contemplated the blue sky above. What brings us joy can also change at different times in a person’s life. I can also remember when a little later in my life great joy came from just sitting around Granny’s old kitchen table drinking coffee with my mom and an aunt or two. Neither Granny nor Mom are still alive so that specific joy can not be achieved for me again. I believe that joy, like memories stay with us and revisit us when most needed.  I believe that my greatest joys have come from days spent with the ones I love most, my Granny, my sister, my husband, my daughter, my grandchildren, and friends and students I have interacted with along the way.

Real success can’t be measured in the level of perceived importance of one’s job, or the amount of their bank account. I believe that real success is measured by how much joy each person experiences and accumulates during their life.  For some pure joy does come from doing a job that is rewarding and contributes to the world. For me the joy of experiencing the achievement and growth of my students does mean a great deal. Finding the joy in whatever one is doing is a true mark of success, this I believe.

• Differences

Structure – I used two primary thoughts that were given as examples in the first response and split them up to support a primary ides: the first being that joy can come from common experiences and the second that what brings us joy changes as we get older.

I added a new detail about my granny and mom both being deceased, which further supports the idea that some joys can’t be repeated.

I added some shorter simple sentences to break up the more complex sentence structure of my normal writing style.

What may not have worked is the transition between the first and the second paragraph. It might be a stronger I Believe statement to simply end after the first paragraph.